Every person has a distinct style. What a boring world it would be if everyone were like your mother, the cheerleader from high school, your millionaire uncle or Emily Post. When relatives, friends and coworkers tell you what to think, it is appropriate to thank them for sharing. See if the following helps you find the diva within.

1. Be Authentic. If you are a tall, powerful woman, forget trying to be a gamin with flowered clothes and a short tousled hair cut.  If you are a guy with a great mind and a nerd who can solve any computer problem, but you are short and barely coordinated, you may never be a basketball player.  Play to your strengths and be who you are.

2. Shame and Humiliation are Subjective. Shame is a crippling emotion that prevents us from being who we can be. But a gaffe or  an inappropriate response that produces shame in one person, may only warrant a giggle in another and a third may not care at all. Realize that you have a choice and go for feeling good about yourself.

3. Ignore What Others Think. Every person has a distinct style.. What a boring world it would be if everyone were like your mother, the cheerleader from high school, your millionaire uncle or Emily Post. When relatives, friends and coworkers tell you what to think, it is appropriate to thank them for sharing.

4. No One Lives a Fairy Tale Life. That impossibly thin model on the cover of Vogue may have just vomited into the toilet bowl. The guy in the Armani suit who is ordering a $300 bottle of wine may be wondering how to make his mortgage payment. Your favorite movie star may be, at this very moment, recuperating from plastic surgery and wondering if the new face will work.  Fairy tales only exist in the telling. Real life is messy, unpredictable and constantly changing.

5. Forget Regret. As they say in the greeting card, Yesterday is Gone, Tomorrow is a Mirage. Today is a Gift: That’s Why We Call It the Present. Concentrate on making each moment the best it can be and don’t be distracted by regrets, replays and remorse.

6. Be conscious of the message behind the media. Women’s magazines headlines scream: Does Your Skin Give Away Your Age? Ten Ways To Lose 10 Pounds. What Your Should Know About Additives. Certainly, you want to be informed. But the anxiety propagated in much of the media creates an anxiety with a subtext: Not good enough! Buy this and be OK. It is a lie. If there were a purchase that could instill self esteem, the rest of the messages would be unnecessary.