After ending a very long - over 20 year - relationship because he wanted to move on, my ex moved to another state.  I also moved to a different state and have been working to get over the past and make a new life for myself.  During the two years since our break-up, my ex and I have kept in touch through occasional emails or phone calls, maintaining a cordial but distant relationship.  Recently he decided he wasn't happy where he moved and to make a long story short, he has moved to the same town I live in.   He claims it has nothing to do with my presence here and says it's fine with him if we keep up our occasional contact or not have any contact at all.  

I haven't completely gotten over him and his presence here is very unsettling to me.  I don't know what to hope for or what to do.  Any guidance would be appreciated.
Very Confused! 

Dear Very Confused
My concern is that your ex appears to be a bad bet. In the past, was he too disorganized to give you enough attention and support? A symptom of this is that he was often dealing with some kind of mess. Yet your ex is on a profound journey of change, and appears to be changing for the better as he finds his own strengths.

You no longer have the same needs as you did when you were with this person. The reasons you needed to be with him are no longer true for you. It’s a whole new relationship. It is not dangerous to go out with him if he asks you and you want to. It will only tell you where things are at now. Learn from experience!